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Rob Perks’s Blog

Singin' the High Gas Price Blues

Rob Perks

Posted March 8, 2011 in Moving Beyond Oil

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We're all starting to feel that familiar pain at the pump as gas price steadily creep up, up, up. What's more predictable than rising gas prices? The clamor from some in Congress to drill, baby, drill our way out of the problem. In fact, today U.S. Rep. Doc Hastings (R-WA), chairman of the House Natural Resources Committee, announced four new hearings on gas prices and offshore oil drilling in the coming three weeks. 

Without a doubt, those congressional hearings will be used to grandstand about how more drilling -- onshore, offshore, here, there and everywhere -- is the key to U.S. energy independence. But the math doesn't add up: In America we consume about 25% of the world's oil yet our nation contains less than 3% of the world's oil supplies. Not to be too crude but whatever we drill on our soil or off our shores won't amount to a drop of spit in the world's petroleum bucket.

Clearly, it's beyond disingenuous to suggest that putting even more of our fragile coasts at risk from oil drilling will make a dent in our rapacious supply needs or lower the prices at the pump. Seriously, have we already forgotten the lessons of last year's massive Gulf spill? Let's not ring our shores with rigs from sea to shining sea. Instead, let's be realistic and focus on solutions that will reduce our energy reliance and ensure healthier coastal economies.

Unfortunately, the facts about the energy situation tend to get lost in the usual panic-fueled media flurry. Maybe what we need is a way to cut through the clutter. So let me offer a light-hearted way to approach this serious issue -- a parody song based on the popular "Bed Intruder Song" that took the Internet by storm a while back. Here I provide the alternative lyrics; perhaps more people will heed the lesson.

COAST INTRUDER SONG 

Well, obviously we have addiction to dirty oil

Prices climbin up those gas pumps
They’re snatchin your dollars up
Tryna raise em so y'all need to
Build your rigs, drill your holes
Build your rigs, drill your holes
Build your rigs, drill your holes

And hide your car-keys cuz they're raisin prices out here
You don't call Congress and complain
We’re already screwed
They don mind they don mind you
So they gon rig and drill that,
Rig and drill that
Rig and drill that, homeboy
Home, home, homeboy

[Verse 1]

[AD:]
We got your tarballs
You done left your oilslicks and all
We are so dumb
We are really dumb--for real
We are really, really, really, really so dumb

Big Oil got away raking record revenue

My coast was attacked by oil production projects

[AD:]
So dumb, so dumb, so dumb, so

[Chorus]

[Verse 2]
Shell, Exxon, Chevron, British Petroleum
Low down like to pollute and will never be clean instead

Clean up, I don think so
Soilin my beaches that I walk on
They got their hands around our checks
First thing is to get ourselves off oil
I sure wish we did

[Chorus]

[Verse 3]

[AD]
Well, obviously we have addiction to dirty oil
[KD]
Are you serious, my boy?
I got your tarballs
I got your spills
I know what dependence is, my boy
So you can rig and drill
But we're gonna stop you, stop you

[Chorus x2]

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Switchboard is the staff blog of the Natural Resources Defense Council, the nation’s most effective environmental group. For more about our work, including in-depth policy documents, action alerts and ways you can contribute, visit NRDC.org.

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