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Coal Ash Regs Are Comin' To Town

Rob Perks

Posted December 15, 2009

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Call it a gift or a curse, but I have a thing for song parody.  I'm like the Weird Al Yankovic of environmentalists.  Usually my peculiar "talent" gets displayed at the office holiday party.  Who can forget my odes to coal belted out last year by NRDC's in-house carolers?  Unfortunately, I missed this year's party due to travel.  But never fear, I give to you the 2009 coal carol -- ba-rumpa, bum, bum.   

Coal Ash Regs Are Comin' To Town

She's making a list,

Priority: High,

Gonna find out who's wet or dry.

Coal ash regs are comin' to town!


Yes, Lisa Jackson,

Is making all haste,

EPA's cracking down,

On combustion waste.

Coal ash regs are comin' to town!


She knows which landfill's leaching,

She knows which pond might break,

She knows they all lack liners,

Close 'em down, for goodness sake!


One-thirty million tons,

Ev-ery year,

Spew from coal plants,

Far and near.

Coal ash regs are comin' to town!


So, you better watch out,

Coal waste fly,

A high hazard,

Either wet or dry.

Coal ash regs are comin' to town!


So, don't worry about a lump of coal in your stocking.  Tops on this year's wish list are new federal regulations to finally treat dirty, unsafe coal ash as hazardous waste.  Just be sure to send your letter to EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson to make your holiday wish come true.  Happy holidays, everyone!

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